Standing on the edge of morning
scent of sex and new found glory
playing as she's pulling back her hair
she drives away
she's feeling worthless
used again but nothing's different
she stayed the night
but knows he doesn't care

home by three
deafening quiet
the porch light's off
yes they forgot it
she'd cry herself to sleep
but she don't dare
then she wants to be a model
she wants to hear she's beautiful
she's beautiful

i want to save you
i want to save you
i need you
save me too
i want to save you

dressed by dawn and out the door
no light
she memorized the floor
so she could leave without being detected
she works till three
it's uniform
she dreams that he'll come by the store
she prays for days
the boys mean she's protected
and she wants someone to see her
she needs to hear she's beautiful
she's beautiful

i want to save you
i want to save you
i need you
save me too
i want to save you

and she won't sleep
she won't sleep
and she won't sleep
at all

i want to save you
i want to save you
i need you
save me too
i want to save you
(let me save you)
i want to save you
(let me save you)
i want to save you
(let me save you)
i want to save you

warning: this convo has been censored due to it's personal content and shit that i didnt want certain people to know 

FrickinNinja (10:07:57 PM): hey
glowyemerald (10:08:07 PM): heya
FrickinNinja (10:08:19 PM): hows it goin?
glowyemerald (10:09:22 PM): not bad, u?
FrickinNinja (10:09:27 PM): its goin well
glowyemerald (10:09:34 PM): good deal
glowyemerald (10:10:31 PM): im an idiot...

FrickinNinja (10:10:31 PM): oh
FrickinNinja (10:10:36 PM): thats silly
FrickinNinja (10:10:44 PM): yea
FrickinNinja (10:10:46 PM): we thought so too
glowyemerald (10:10:52 PM): only hurting myself more
FrickinNinja (10:11:15 PM): yea... you're lonely
FrickinNinja (10:11:31 PM): but you dont need someone like that
FrickinNinja (10:11:36 PM): you need a boyfriend
glowyemerald (10:12:21 PM): yeah well i do a really nice job of attracting complete assholes so i shy away from relationships alltogether
FrickinNinja (10:12:51 PM): yea
FrickinNinja (10:13:17 PM): well... thats a problem a lot of people have because a lot of people want to be me..
glowyemerald (10:13:51 PM): ... im gonna go ahead and say 'lol' b/c that one went over my head
FrickinNinja (10:14:13 PM): listen, Im beautiful...
glowyemerald (10:15:39 PM): lol
glowyemerald (10:15:42 PM): oh yes
glowyemerald (10:15:51 PM): dont i wish i had a boyfriend just like u
FrickinNinja (10:15:59 PM): yea
FrickinNinja (10:16:02 PM): seriously you do
glowyemerald (10:16:33 PM): well when ya find one... let me know
glowyemerald (10:16:34 PM): lol
FrickinNinja (10:16:43 PM): Im looking
FrickinNinja (10:16:56 PM): really.. Im an asshole
FrickinNinja (10:17:07 PM): but I really try to be good to your sister
FrickinNinja (10:17:27 PM): Sometimes I think I fall short.
FrickinNinja (10:17:32 PM): But I try.
glowyemerald (10:18:33 PM): well sometimes u lose ur temper too easily, but other than that and one or two other things that kind irked me but i didnt know enough about to really form an opinion on, ur good
FrickinNinja (10:20:35 PM): yea.. well anyway. I try. thats what you need
FrickinNinja (10:20:39 PM): a guy that tries
glowyemerald (10:21:31 PM): yup
glowyemerald (10:21:41 PM): but there is a serious drout
glowyemerald (10:22:06 PM): so maybe i should invent a time machine and go back to the renaissance times when everything was more romantic
FrickinNinja (10:22:10 PM): i think you may be hanging out with the wrong kind of people
glowyemerald (10:22:14 PM): when touching palms with someone was like having sex
FrickinNinja (10:22:21 PM): lol yea
FrickinNinja (10:23:37 PM): not that Im trying to trash your friends at all
FrickinNinja (10:23:40 PM): but I mean... they do coke..
glowyemerald (10:23:55 PM): yeah well it helps them escape
glowyemerald (10:23:58 PM): its their vice
glowyemerald (10:24:01 PM): not all of them do it
glowyemerald (10:24:03 PM): just a few
glowyemerald (10:24:20 PM): and really... i can only think of one right now and i dont get to see her often
FrickinNinja (10:24:26 PM): Parker?
glowyemerald (10:24:28 PM): the others i know who do coke arent really my friends
glowyemerald (10:24:32 PM): haha
glowyemerald (10:24:36 PM): parker ahsnt even smoked weed
glowyemerald (10:24:39 PM): refuses
FrickinNinja (10:24:52 PM): I thought they had big piles of coke at the house?
glowyemerald (10:25:15 PM): yeah, his roommates
glowyemerald (10:25:28 PM): kenny, ryan, and sean... and then the neighbors come over and do it too
glowyemerald (10:25:30 PM): D and tom
glowyemerald (10:25:35 PM): and louis and his wife
FrickinNinja (10:27:55 PM): well heres the truth
FrickinNinja (10:29:32 PM): your a nerd
glowyemerald (10:29:51 PM): ...
glowyemerald (10:29:53 PM): ok
FrickinNinja (10:30:05 PM): a nerd that is desperate to be cool
glowyemerald (10:30:06 PM): not that thats news to me
glowyemerald (10:30:11 PM): ?
glowyemerald (10:30:12 PM): lol
glowyemerald (10:30:13 PM): ok
FrickinNinja (10:30:27 PM): You need a nerd
FrickinNinja (10:30:49 PM): You need some kid who used to play dungeons and dragons.
FrickinNinja (10:31:06 PM): You need someone who used to take piano lessons.
glowyemerald (10:31:07 PM): no one used to play that game

FrickinNinja (10:31:16 PM): umm yea
FrickinNinja (10:31:19 PM): I used to play that game
glowyemerald (10:31:59 PM): nerd
glowyemerald (10:32:03 PM):
FrickinNinja (10:32:04 PM): yea
FrickinNinja (10:32:09 PM): Your sister.. nerd
FrickinNinja (10:32:34 PM): and you know what.
FrickinNinja (10:32:36 PM): she was like you.
glowyemerald (10:33:19 PM): what do u mean like me?
FrickinNinja (10:33:42 PM): I mean she was doing drugs and she was lonely and she didnt give a shit.
glowyemerald (10:34:07 PM): ok i see where ur gong with this
glowyemerald (10:34:18 PM): so i guess im going down hill, eh?
glowyemerald (10:34:20 PM): well
FrickinNinja (10:34:22 PM): no..
glowyemerald (10:34:26 PM): its kinda funny b/c i know i am
FrickinNinja (10:34:30 PM): Im just saying you need a good guy in your life.
glowyemerald (10:35:44 PM): well thats not workin out too good for me
glowyemerald (10:35:56 PM): so i revert to other vices to keep me distracted
FrickinNinja (10:35:56 PM): your sister almost died, and she didnt care.
glowyemerald (10:36:09 PM): i know... i was really scared
glowyemerald (10:36:24 PM): stayed with her in the hospital and she just shrugged it off
FrickinNinja (10:36:34 PM): yea. and she didnt stop when she got out.
glowyemerald (10:36:41 PM): no she didnt
FrickinNinja (10:37:05 PM): but she doesnt anymore
FrickinNinja (10:37:59 PM): she hasnt done anything except drink, which I think is totally acceptable, in 4 months on sunday
glowyemerald (10:38:29 PM): happy anniversary to her... actually i really am glad she doesnt anymore
FrickinNinja (10:38:51 PM): yea. sunday.. thats 4 months for me and her too...
glowyemerald (10:38:56 PM): i know
FrickinNinja (10:39:05 PM): I figured you would pick up on it
glowyemerald (10:39:10 PM): lol
glowyemerald (10:39:28 PM): i can be sort of intelligent if ya give me the chance
FrickinNinja (10:39:37 PM): its too bad you hate todd.
FrickinNinja (10:39:50 PM): He's definately been where you are.
glowyemerald (10:40:24 PM): man i hope that wasnt a" if u didnt hate todd so much, u could date him" statement
FrickinNinja (10:41:15 PM): todd had a lot of friends, then suddenly, after high school, he just stopped talking to a lot of people
FrickinNinja (10:41:22 PM): and then he was really sad
glowyemerald (10:41:46 PM): i ahve no problem with friends
glowyemerald (10:41:52 PM): i have plenty
glowyemerald (10:42:05 PM): but i dont meet any new ones often
glowyemerald (10:42:17 PM): thats part of y i dont meet some nerd
FrickinNinja (10:43:44 PM): heh
FrickinNinja (10:43:55 PM): anyone who has worked at the renn fest mos defs needs a nerd
glowyemerald (10:44:02 PM): aww
glowyemerald (10:44:09 PM): that makes me sad
glowyemerald (10:44:12 PM): it was so much fun
FrickinNinja (10:45:13 PM): heh
FrickinNinja (10:45:17 PM): thats what Jessi says
FrickinNinja (10:45:19 PM): I dont tease.
FrickinNinja (10:45:21 PM): Im just saying
glowyemerald (10:45:51 PM): *shrugs*
glowyemerald (10:45:52 PM): brb
glowyemerald (10:51:11 PM): bakc
glowyemerald (10:51:14 PM): back*
FrickinNinja (10:51:51 PM): anyway.. I think you would be well served by laying off the drugs, meeting a nerd, and commiting to a real relationship.
glowyemerald (10:52:12 PM): its not like i havent tried committing to a real relationship
glowyemerald (10:52:16 PM): lord knows its all i do
FrickinNinja (10:53:24 PM): a slef destructive life style isnt necessary during that search tho
glowyemerald (10:54:17 PM): well it certainly keeps me distracted from any pain from the past, present and future
FrickinNinja (10:56:47 PM): I guess you gotta do what you gotta do
FrickinNinja (11:01:21 PM): well im tired
FrickinNinja (11:01:27 PM): gnight.. and good luck
glowyemerald (11:01:35 PM): ty
glowyemerald (11:01:36 PM): gnite
glowyemerald (11:01:37 PM): sleep well

its a beautiful day! life couldnt get any better... well it could but i highly doubt the thing i am thinking of will happen.if it does, i would probably burst... but if it doesnt thats ok. everything can stay the way it is now and i would still be doing snoopy dances! wait! im watching dogma and i think i just caught something that i have never seen before... is Jay masterbating at the diner when he is talking to Bethany and Silent Bob???

The LoJak: im watching dogma on Comedy Central
The LoJak: its weird
The LoJak: they cut alot of shit from it
glowyemerald: me too
glowyemerald: yeah they did
glowyemerald: and question
glowyemerald: was Jay just masterbating under the table
glowyemerald: ?
The LoJak: lol
The LoJak: no
glowyemerald: u sure?
glowyemerald: it looked like it to me
glowyemerald: looked like he was def spanking his monkey
The LoJak: lol

well i guess he wasnt... im just a sick little sex freak. guilty for having a one track mind. :( ok... bye bye time!

"what did the five fingers say to the face? *whack* im Rick James, BITCH!!!"

*stretches* i need a back rub:) where r those "great" friends of urs when u need them?? eh, eh?? j/k u know i love everyone! well... there r exceptions to every rule. i need a hot bath right now. im kinda sore...

one question tho... where is elliot acosta???

not in the mood to leave any juicy crap u's guys can masterbate to... looks like u'll have to do wthout for one night;) whoa... dont know where that came from... MY INNER BEAST!!! RAWRRRRRR!! ... ok... im delirious now... im just anxious about setting up an xcelent time with my best buddy torey when she gets back from NC. i extend that invitation to a specific other someone, u should know who u r. it wont be another "party" in a winn dixie parking lot, this i promise u.

time for bath and movie fun... leave love on the sn

*stretches* so today is yet another b-e-a-utiful day in the state of florida. and its my day off... i plan on doing my laundry and laying out in the sun, baby! oh yeah! i need to get as much rest as possible b/c this weekend is looking quite busy. fri night is parkers 21st so there is a big ass aprty going on for that. everyone better be there! IM me on glowyemerald or xXxfinch250mlxXx for details. hell if im not on, u guys have working phones... even tho the cell is temp out of order, clearly u can call my house 9207486... 813 for those of u who r tampa impaired.;) i promise i will get the cell turned back on soon b/c the people here suck at taking messages and giving them to me. it was so quiet... no one i didnt like calling me at 3 am and no howard stern calls while im out trying to have a good time! lol... ok, those i appreciate and r funny as hell so u can keep em comin if u have no one else to bother. ok so back to something more interesting!

dana and i had a conversation the other day... people who cry out for attaention in their online journals. they say some of the most private and retarded things that u really shouldnt put in an online journal and then act surprised when it gets them in trouble... HELLLOOOOOO! u asked for it! hmmm... let me call my sorority sister a big dumb hoe in my online PUBLIC JOURNAL THAT EVERYONE READS and see if it gets back to her. lol... u have to be fucking kidding me. personally... when i first started this thing cory's quote of "what a lemming am i..." came up. but then it became fun. people actually read these. sometimes they laugh, sometimes they cry... and hell if im pissed off at someone, yeah i'll put it in here but i do limit myself. if i havent been able to talk to someone online but know there is a chance they will see this before they get to talk to me, i'll write away! ok... i could go on and on about this crap... onward!

renaissance festival started last weekend!!!! im going, im going! in my cute lil fairy costume! anyone want to join the hottest fairy u have seen and have a good time?? let me know, i'll be going several times!

wow... i suddenly have nothing to say... at all... so im gonna leave u with a song... i'd like to thank mr. joshua adams;)

Just walk down this road, huh?
Fuck it, I thought, I'm sold, I strolled on down the road
In C-walk mode, to the Wizard I'm told
But hold up, this road fuck with twists and turns
I'm haven't no luck as my vanilla blunt burns
I'm seeingg trees with faces, bushes that walk
And as far as I can see nobody drawn in chalk
And the sky is bright green, sometimes it's kind of pink
I'm a twist another blunt here sit down and think
How the fuck, what the fuck, who the fuck and when?
What the fuck I'm doing here, I would have figured the pen
Then again I got to get the fuck home before long
Because the first of the month is coming on, I'm gone
Let me spark my shit, right quick, I'm out of here